Tuesday … Renewal … Spring … And that Little Voice


Courtesy: Special Archives

The weather held for the day and into the evening. Still a little chilly for me, but nothing an extra layer did not take care of.

We here at the blog have been renewed for another year. This IS the best medium for blogging, and I am always happy to be here, a part of the WordPress community.

It was a busy day running errands and shopping and paying bills and preparing for my trip to Vermont in a couple of weeks. It is called the Mad River Barn Men’s Retreat in Waitsville Vermont.

It is quite the expense in the end. $120.00 for a fresh passport, $120.00 for the fees, and spending money on the side. I am told it will be fun, it better be for the price I paid for it.

I was off a little early, and my coffee mate did not turn up on time, but she got there to chair the meeting. I was pleasantly surprised at the turnout. Baby mama is making her goodbyes – she leaves on Saturday night. It is bittersweet, but we will be connected via phone and email. And it is all good because of the familial support she has and really needs, something she does not have here.

A bunch of friends I don’t get to see often came as well. And we talked about a reading from the Daily Reflections, and Step 2. The whole notion of coming to believe, and becoming aware of that still small voice.

One of my friends hit the nail on the head, and I had just spoken of it to our chair before the meeting. We all have that little voice. Most people know of it, some don’t. Those who do usually listen to it, but most don’t.

I guess it was there when I put down the drink. There was something there telling me what I needed to do, and the fact that the way things came together was simply, divine …

I followed that voice to it’s next destination.

In early sobriety we faced multiple issues, that I needed to step up and be present for and to take care of. And we got through them. And that’s the way it has been for some time.

But the voice crystallized for me when I turned 40, and the years that followed. That little voice became more pronounced. It was like, wisdom speaking to me. I knew what it was. I just wasn’t sure what to do with it.

We spend inordinate amounts of time imbibing or using, and that damage, does damage to our souls and that voice within. I did my share of damage and I am sure it took years to heal and renew. They say it takes seven years to renew a liver. And my 40th birthday would have been seven years later after I got sober this time.

I go to meetings to listen for the voice. Of God. I want to see my friends, people I look up to, men and women I respect. I want to hear what they have to say. That’s why we keep coming back, because of the communal nature of recovery. We can’t do this on our own.

Our slippers prove that to us.

They come a few times and they leave and don’t return, and they just fade away until something brings them back for another round.

I trust my intuition. And when I don’t I talk to someone who can help me. And in turn I get to share life with my guys.

May is going to be an exciting month. It is going to be great.

There will be more to come, stay tuned …

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