It’s Just Another MANIC Saturday …

tumblr_m28ph86Q5E1qzj6szo1_500 TTG 1train New YorkCourtesy: TTG One Train NYC

Today was the BIG day. The day we transformed our apartment into a home. Not that it wasn’t a home already, but today we invested in our biggest purchase as a couple to date.

We got up early and started the day. Got ready to go a little while later. Hubby was in manic mode for the most of the afternoon. He is always three steps ahead of me, I take it a little slower, which then elicits my “slow the fuck down …” comment.

We got on the Metro and headed North on the orange line, one stop from the end, located in the hind end of space and time. That end of the city is quite depressing. But that’s where IKEA built their super duper box store from HELL !

We made it with minutes to spare with our connecting bus that runs a very circuitous route around and around and around again, That end of town is Cris-crossed with cloverleaf highways and interchanges. The bus dropped us at a stop near Ikea, it was a hike, nonetheless.

I’ve never been to an IKEA before in my life. I’ve seen it on tv, I have friends who swear by it, and they shop there often. I have to say that, I love shopping. Today’s excursion to this HUGE big box store was a MANIC experience. I thought I was going to have an episode right there in the middle of crowds of people.

The store is all laid out and there are maps to show you where to go. Furniture is on the second floor, we headed there first. we knew ahead of time what we were buying, and we wanted to see it in a “room setting.” The place was swarming with people. We did a couple of circuits, and headed downstairs, what happened next was a nightmare.

We grabbed a very large shopping cart and started the MAZE that one has to travel to get to the warehouse/check out/delivery area. Imagine a hoard of people all with their own very large shopping carts, traveling through a maze with aisles about ten feet wide, and several people across trying to navigate this maze. With coats, carts, and small children in tow…

I was getting close to meltdown stage.

We did eventually get through the maze. We then ventured into the warehouse. Hubby had printed out all the pertinent numbers to go find them. We hit a kiosk that told us where to go. Now you transfer from a very large shopping cart, to a push buggy for large items. Then you have to find the item, and put it in/on your buggy, now I am pushing a shopping cart and a buggy at the same time.

There are families with small children all over the place.

Once you get a buggy filled with very large boxes that are heavy going, they are hard to stop. I came close to running over the same small child twice, running the shelves. We then had to get in a line to order the sofa and get a print out. We were pushing around a large arm chair, a coffee table, and an end table.

Then you get in line to pay.

Hurry up and wait …

We handed our printout to the girl at checkout and she scanned our boxes. Then you go over to the waiting area as your order is processed, they pull the items from the stock room, and send them out to you to either take home yourself, or get delivered. Once that was completed, we step about ten feet from the pick up desk to the delivery desk. They offered to deliver this evening.

We originally set Monday for delivery, but they were more than happy to do it today.

We took the evening delivery time.

We left the store, I was really crazy by that point. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of dodge.

We walked away from the store, in another direction from where we came from, to a bus stop located across a six lane highway. We got there and noticed that that bus stop was only good Monday through Friday. So we crossed back over that six lane highway, and headed in the direction we had originally come from, where the bus dropped us off.

That particular bus stop is also on a six lane highway. We got to our drop stop and noticed a corresponding stop across the highway, thinking it was the return stop. But the highway was split by a fence, and traffic was much to high to cross, and there was no bridge or crossing area.

We walked all the way back to the store and went back in to delivery, and asked for them to call us a taxi. We were told that there was a taxi stand right there in the parking lot, we had walked past it three times, but didn’t notice it.

We took a $15.00 dollar taxi ride back to the metro we arrived at.

Singing “Over the river and through the woods, more like over the highway and around and around!”

A train was pulling into the station, in the direction we needed to go, which pushed us to run through the turnstile and across the station and down to the platform, UGH … We made the train.

We got back home and hubby headed to the Tire to pick up a drill and some odds and ends, and I walked home. I had to find out where to put the old furniture out on the street, making sure I was on our property and not others.

I had begun to throw everything we didn’t need away yesterday, so today I only had a single leaf bag stuffed with trash, and I had to vacuum. Hubby got back home and we dismantled the living room, and in one trip took everything down to trash. A sofa, a loveseat, two tables and all the cushions.

The old furniture was falling apart. It was forty years old. My mother in law sewed all the cushions and they gave the furniture to hubby when he moved to Montreal almost twenty years ago.

We waited for the delivery, meanwhile we were sorting through what we decided to keep. Around five, they showed up. I worried that we had not measured the couch in the store, because it might not have fit through our front door. they got it in with inches to spare.

Some Assembly Required !!!

I’ve put the occasional book case together in the past. But I’ve never had to build a sofa or a table before. First you have to unpack it from the plastic wrap and cardboard. Then you have to locate the booty, the bag of feet, screws, bolts and tools to do the job. We unpacked the pieces of the couch, there were four pieces. The back, the bottom, and the two arms.

We missed the tools and screws.

Thinking we had forgotten something in the store, we panicked. Alas, they were stuck inside the sofa in a plastic bag, stapled inside the carcass. Like I said, I’ve never built a sofa.

There are so many pieces, where do they all go ???

This was turning out to be a very insane operation. I was not very sober…

We got it together and put it in place. The sofa is much bigger in our space, than it was in the store space. We then un-boxed the arm chair. That was a one step process. We moved around the furniture that was already there, and found a way to get it all to work together.

We then attacked the coffee table. I didn’t know that you needed all those nuts, bolts, screws, dowels, pins and brackets. I’ve seen tables in a store, but I was surprised by all the shit it took to put it together.

The How to put this item together is a “build it for the dummy” guide, lots of pictures and diagrams of the items in the box and the items in the screw bag.

Pictures but NO words to go with them.

I nearly killed hubby about halfway through this build.

Our home looks so very different than it did mere hours ago.

Hubby ordered a new HD tv online, new blinds for the living room, which we pick up tomorrow, and I have to install, hence, the drill will be useful.

My Pay Pal account got a good work out. They are probably wondering what I am doing. I never make more than one purchase at a time. I added a sweet Ebay buy to the deal of my own.

I don’t think I will be returning to Ikea any time soon. It was all very sensory overload.

Too Much overload.

That was our Saturday.

More to come, stay tuned…