Wednesday – Back in New Foundland


It has been a very sad week to start. I’ve been organizing and packing up Baby Mama and Lu Lu for their flight this morning back to New Found-land. Tuesday we made final arrangements as to what I need to do to close up the apartment in her absence.

The baby has not been herself lately. We took her out of day care last week because sniffles and eye infections and colds have been on the rise. And just to make sure she would be healthy for the flight this morning, we kept her at home.

Tuesday afternoon I went over to spend some final hours with them, and I did get to play with Lu Lu for a bit. I at least got a smile from her, and she let me hold her for a bit and we played ball, and I read to her for a while. But in the end, all she wanted was Mama.

At the break point, I knew it was time to go, I have the keys to the apartment, and the rent was paid for June, and now I need to move furniture where it needs to go, the rest will go to the donations center which is just downstairs.

We all walked downstairs together and that is when Lu Lu had her meltdown. I am sure she knew what was going on, because as soon as I walked out the front door, she was in pieces.

I’m very heartbroken over their departure. On Tuesday evening at the meeting, the two women that had promised to carry their share of the load in taking care of them, and being a friend, and to make sure Mama was cared for, were at the meeting.

Both failed miserably in what they said they would do. And in the end, one of them no longer speaks to Mama, and the other, I have to remind her to call, and last night, I asked her to go visit Mama before they went to bed, and after two suggestions, she begrudgingly agreed to go say goodbye. But only after I insisted she do so.

It was all I could do to stay in the meeting, because by the end I was so furious, that I ran to get the bus home, not saying goodbye to the folks who were there. Later on, I had  major PMS meltdown with my sponsor. It was not pretty.

My investment in my relationship with Mama and the baby, lasted almost a year. In the end, Mama said to me that there was just not enough of me to go around. Because the others failed to do what I asked them to do.

Now, I get to travel to St. John’s to see them in the coming months. We go back to speaking on the phone daily. I am very sad.

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