Sadly … Another friend of mine from my former second fellowship has relapsed.
That would be three in total …
It is a common theme over the past months, of people we know, very well, from around town, are stuck, and have either gone back out and are still out, or as in tonight, a friend I know well, for many years, who had some time, decided to jump out of a window and use again.
If you have decided what we want and are willing to go to any length, then you are ready to take certain steps.
Addicts and Alcoholics are terribly INTOLERANT people.
And the Friday meeting, is one of those meetings, that has been through the crucible of intolerance. In as many years, we have all stayed around, through adversity and intolerance, we survived.
Intolerance has cost us a great deal over the years. People with time, deciding at one point to be intolerant of some who come to that meeting, because they feel welcomed, were, at one point, asked to leave, because of intolerance of some of our number.
Tonight, one of the men who fled that drama, was sitting in the room. I have not seen him in many many months.
Everyone sitting at that table tonight, must have been thinking about what happened to us, a while back, when friends became enemies, and silence fell and people fled that meeting.
Because of INTOLERANCE.
God, in his infinite wisdom has done for us, what we could not do for ourselves.
Wisdom speaks to me tonight and says … If you stay, and you pray, God Will Move.
Once again, I am sitting in a room, and God is moving among us.
Last year, intolerance raised its ugly head and disbanded an entire community of people, sending people running for the hills.
Sadly, three of those intolerant people, used and drank again. And they have, over the past few weeks, returned to the sanctity and acceptance of the Friday meeting.
Is that Odd or is that God ????
I left a community, and people left me in return, because of intolerance.
I remained at the Friday meeting, making it my home group some time ago and I have been sitting in that room, doing service, and waiting on God.
God has not disappointed …
“Gradually we began to be able to accept the other’s sins as well as their virtues. We coined the potent and meaningful expression “Let us always love the best in others – and never fear their worst.”
“Finally we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. When this happens, we approach true tolerance and we see what real love for our fellows actually means.”
Shit happens in meetings, and more especially in business meetings.
Normal everyday alcoholics, while sitting in a meeting, practicing tolerance, will step into a business meeting, and the gloves will come off and dust begins to fly …
Tolerance goes right out the window.
I’ve seen what intolerance does to people who are terribly intolerant. And at one point, I pointed that out to a particular friend, and in doing so, cost me several friendships.
Some of those friends decided against their better natures to use again.
This is what happens when communities fall apart, and contacts disappear.
People use again, because they feel that they cannot talk to you because of
I sat with that friend, before the meeting, and I am sure that look of pity crossed my features when he told me that he was just a week clean and sober.
And I asked one question … What did you NOT do that you should have DONE ?
Those answers are always the same.
A Room is a Furnace. A Crucible. A Testing Ground. An Ego Buster. A Humility Teacher.
We are all wounded, one way or another. And at times, the best of us, gets swallowed up by the worst of us. And usually that happens in front of and to our friends, who are closest to us.
The chair spoke tonight and he said … We are evilest to those closest to us, and we are gracious and accepting to a perfect stranger …
He also added: Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, and Hate leads to Suffering …
We quote the Jedi in our meeting on Friday.
All I can do is be present.