Birthday Celebration

pic1

It was a good day. Filled with friends and good wishes. I started the day with a stiff broom, sweeping out the trash. I got my laundry done in the morning. I can toss a load in the washer and then get my grocery shopping done during the dry …

I even got a nap in.

Tonight we went to Fire Grill. I had invited my friend Juan and his girlfriend Nadia to join us for a meal. It was really nice. We don’t get to spend much time together outside of meetings, so tonight was a treat.

I have a plan. And this week that new plan begins.

We are going to go meet new people and hit some new meetings.

Now we will all find out what living in my fifties is going to look like together.

Thank you all for subbing and reading and joining the conversation.

Writing this little blog is an act of love, every day.

Monday: July 31st … On Being Fifty

harry-potter-and-the-half-blood-prince-photo-3

 

It is the best day of the year, and the most IMPORTANT day of my life.

I have reached the ripe age of Fifty … Harry would be 37 years old today.

I woke up very early this morning, as the sun was coming up. Just to be quiet for a time and appreciate that when I did get up this morning, that my heart was still beating.

I survived. I made it all this way. Miraculous, really. Who knew I’d live this long ?

What has changed ? I jettisoned a whole bunch of takers from my life. I re-ordered my priorities, and closed the book on the last chapter of my life.

Today, we begin writing the next decade …

When I turned 40, and the years that followed, I realized that I KNEW things for sure. It was only after I crossed the 40 mark that that began to dawn on me. So I suppose that whatever I am supposed to know now, will materialize on the days, weeks, months, and years that will follow.

Another personal cull is waiting in the wings, and I will know that list by the close of business today.

All I know is that NOW, instead of Forty years, I now have Fifty years of practical life experience and a BUNCH of sober knowledge about many people. Intimate knowledge that has helped the cull process.

I really know who I want in my life, and who I don’t. I know what I am willing to invest in and what I won’t. I have sobriety that was proofed in the furnace of vulnerability. I got down and dirty in the arena, while everyone else watched from the stands.

Only three people got in the arena with me.

If you aren’t in the arena with me, getting your ass kicked, I don’t need your feedback.

I’ve changed things up here on the blog. Added a few things, took others away.

I’ve decided to embrace the wisdom and look of a fifty year old. So that is a thing.

There are a few things I really need to focus on over the next little while.

Fifty feels good right now. That may change. We’ll see …

Anyways, Happy Birthday Harry …

Sunday Sundries: Birthday Pre-Show

IMG_0311 - Copy

Sometimes you just have to tell people to just “FUCK OFF !!!” My phone has been ringing off the hook, with a very needy, self-centered woman, who thinks I exist to serve her day and night as her beck and call boy.

NOT !!!!

I have a rule about reciprocity, if you fail this requirement, you loose …

I spent the balance of the day with my best friend, eating good food, and decadent desserts, at Jeanne Mance Park. Jeanne Mance Park is within earshot of Mount Royal Park, across Parc (road) where the Sunday Funday Smoke Some Weed and Play Your Drums, Tam Tam’s takes place weekly.

On our left was a badminton game going on. On our right, was a biker, who was smoking weed, he asked us for a light, with a huge DUBE in his hand. He didn’t ask us if we wanted to share, just a light, for himself.

Not that we would have partaken anyway.

You cannot go very far in Montreal, in the park system and not have to smell weed in the air all around you.

How often does your best friend come to Montreal to see you ? Not often enough. We pledged to change that. I will be going to Ottawa next month.

Good conversation was had.

On the way home, we stopped in a very dangerous shop. A RECORD STORE !!!

I haven’t seen a record player since I left the Night Club business some years ago. I knew records existed. But I have not owned a record player in more than thirty years.

But I bought three records for myself. Which means, I need a RECORD PLAYER …

Xanadu is self-explanatory. I have the music on my phone already. I remember, as a teen-ager getting both my parents to take me to see the film. I’ve seen it several hundred times over the years.

Level 42 needs a little bit more explanation.

When I was a young man, not yet twenty-one, I was working in a travel agency. I was the Manager of said agency at the time. Auspicious? Maybe, maybe not. It was a career that I could have prospered in. Save for the rampant alcoholism that was already present.

That particular year, business was especially good. Pan American ticket sales were through the roof, and we traveled as often as we could. First Class at that.

Because, who flew coach, when First Class Passes were handed out quarterly.

First stop was London, England. Don’t remember much of England. But I did some serious record shopping while I was there. I had a walk man in my carry on luggage and I shipped all my packages home, because we could not check luggage when traveling stand-by passes.

I bought a Level 42 Cassette of Running in the Family … Record Above …

I have a copy of that album on my phone as well. And I listen to it often. One particular cut on that album, “Children Say” has a sound that is reminiscent of trains over tracks.

Every time I listen to it, I can shut my eyes, and JUST make out a visual memory of the over night train we rode from Munich, Germany to Rome. It was an overnight, sleeper car journey.

I know both records I bought today. Just finding these little gems of records is sweet.

I could really do some damage, money wise, if I started collecting records again.

Which means, I need a player to play them on.

My best friend gave me a John Coltrane CD called Giant Steps.

I am told that it was one of his best creations, after he got sober. A little JAZZ to accompany my meditation practice.

Last year, or was it the year before, I got John Coltrane’s Love Supreme CD. He was still living in Montreal, before they moved to Ottawa. We used to sit on the deck out back, and listen to music, and eat fattening food and talk for hours upon hours.

Something I really miss today. And he came up for a concert on Friday, which coincided with my birthday quite nicely.

I’m really grateful.

In 4 hours … I will technically be 50 years old.

The Man in the Arena Speech

o-BRENE-BROWN-ORIGIN-MAGAZINE-facebook

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt …

“If you are not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback !!!”

Some Tattoos Have Origin Stories …

perdendo-tempo

Adrenaline Tattoo Montreal

This is the story about a tattoo. This above image is an original work of art, located over on a Portuguese Blog. The original artist is not indicated. I did not know this original work of art existed, before my appointment with my new tattoo artist at Adrenaline Tattoos.

6361672e4bd1fdd80e8f9df58201e69b

This original art work spawned a number of iterations of this picture. My artist had done some preliminary sleuthing to find context and the original art work. Because every tattoo is unique. (I knew that). From every iteration of a piece of art, meaning is gathered by the human who bears new artwork. That tattoo has specific meaning to its bearer.

This second image is the Full Sleeve Tattoo that I drew my choice from. This tattoo is one iteration of the top photo, work of art.

Clock-and-Stairs

I cropped this photo into a Half Sleeve Tattoo. The little boy is climbing the same stairs as in the original. In the original, it is a Woman on the staircase. In the original artwork, the time piece (clock) is being blown apart, the clock face is disintegrating as the numbers are falling off the clock, into the surrounding water.

We gather that from the original image, time is ending … My artist has explained the psychology of a tattoo and why he does what he does as an artist, to respect the original image of the original art work, and its artist, to try and gain context of the original and also to study the various iterations of the original artwork.

2015-New-Cool-Hand-Wind-Mechanical-Pocket-Watch-Skeleton-Watches-Fashion-Men-Watch-Vintage-Pocket-Watch

In my art work, we will use a fully functional pocket watch (that runs) to note that time exists and is NOT ending. The style of the pocket watch will be carefully shaded a rhodium gold, (like our A.A. Medallions). The boy will remain on the stairs, facing the clock, (going UP the stairs). His shirt will be shaded RED. I will get my color finally.

In the original artwork, the woman is climbing stairs to a clock being destroyed and time is coming to an end. (noted by the disintegrating clock face) Also in the original, the staircase is rising OUT of the water, and moves OVER the water, towards the clock face.

The elements that I needed in my Tattoo are the Clock Face, The Boy, On the staircase, The red shirt, and The water below. The clock face and the boy’s shirt are the only pops of color, to allow the tattoo to say WOW.

I had thought about coloring the water (blue) but my artist thinks that if we add that color to the image, in addition to the pops of color already there, the tattoo would go from WOW to ugh …

We also think that the tattoo that I am working from rests on the inside of the arm, down the sleeve to the wrist. Our new idea it to move it from the inside of the arm, to the outside of my arm on my left side.

Thank you Google for that art lesson.

And thank you to the blog writer for posting this original work of art.
We will represent your art work with respect.