Because we all need a little Happy Dog Photo. I LOVE this photo.
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week orb a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. pg. 24 BB.
I’ve heard it said that if something in the Big Book is written in Italics, then it is VERY important. And we should pay close attention to whatever is said.
After a weekend of sleeping in, and considering my next move in sobriety, tonight I hit my Monday meeting. It was as if I was hung over, mentally, and I thought to myself, on the way that, “I really needed a meeting.”
I don’t often get that jonesing feeling like “I really need a meeting” often. Today I noticed it right away. I got there early, because we were in a secondary location the past two weeks, and last week I missed, and this week I got LOST, trying to find a building that was just one block from where we usually meet.
Thank God for underground shopping malls.
I saw my friends. Some of whom took chips. Others, whom had drunk again over the weekend. Drinking again … This has become common lately. It breaks my heart that my friends all know me, and many of them have my number. None of them choose to use that number. I don’t get it.
I tried, once again, to make connections.
I know that I work very hard at sobriety, and I know today, that I have certain answers. I know certain things, CERTAINLY. Some of my friends, I think, might be put off with certainty. People come to meetings, but really, they don’t want the truth.
It’s like they enjoy rummaging around in the dark scrounging for the answer they want, which is not necessarily the answer they really need. But walking around in the dark seems easier than buckling down and accepting certainty and sobriety, once in for all.
I don’t understand that either.
I asked a friend, with serious time, before the meeting, “Hey James, what is it I need to know, because my anniversary is approaching,” and he said to me that “I really need to trust my higher power with that question. That only HE would tell me what I need to know.”
So I am Not God.
I also know that if I don’t hear directly from HIM, that I need to leave home and hit a meeting and listen to my friends, who might speak for HIM, to Me.
That’s usually how it goes for me.
One of my sponsees is a month out from his third anniversary next month. BOTH his anniversary and mine (in December) both fall on a weekend, which means we get our chips, respectively, in a meeting the week after.
I’ve been practicing my script over the past few days. Because I like to practice the barbed words I want to use in front of certain people, who fuck all …
Not really sober thinking is it ? Nope it isn’t.
I said to my friend, who drank over the weekend, that:
You Don’t Ever Have to Drink Again …
It’s in the book. I’ve said it before. But my friends would rather hit the bumper and drink again and again, knowing the truth is right in front of them, yet they choose to avert their eyes from the truth, because for many, they just cannot fathom a life without using and drinking.
I know what that feels like. Let me tell you what I did … As Lorna would say.
When I got sober this time around, I was so fear ridden with the prospect of growing up and becoming a man. I think that is why I continued to drink, until drinking more was NOT a viable option any longer. I had no choice. I had to sober up.
I was just not going to walk into a room alone. I had to have help.
I prayed for HELP and help ARRIVED.
I know how you feel, let me tell you what I did …
These are everlasting words of hope and faith. These are the words that can change a life. If only my friends trusted me.
I am powerless over people, places and things.
You can’t force someone into sobriety. They have to come upon it on their own.
Many stand at the barrier and look over it. Some of my friend succeeded at walking through it, into sobriety. A handful of my friends are still standing there, waiting for the PUSH they really need. I quietly sit there, and beckon.
Over and Over and Over.
Fear and Pain are great motivators. Some of my friends are stuck in fear and pain.
Sobriety is a selfish pursuit. Go to your meeting for YOU and only YOU.
And Fuck all what anyone else might think or say.
I’ve learned that over fifteen years and ten months.
Now, a little faith from Pope Francis …
In his Monday homily at Casa Santa Marta, Pope Francis focused on the parable of the Good Samaritan. He said one who helps another “get up” is on the “right path to Jesus.”
“This is very common habit among us. We see an ugly calamity and pass by and later read about it in the newspapers, painted with a bit of scandal and sensationalism. Instead the Samaritan, a pagan and sinner who was traveling ‘saw and did not pass by: he had compassion.’ St. Luke describes it well, ‘He saw; he had compassion; he went to him and did not remain far away, but went closer.”
He concluded by asking Christians to examine which type of Christian they are and if they constantly are available to help others.
SUMMARY OF PAPAL HOMILY
“This is very common habit among us. We see an ugly calamity and pass by and later read about it in the newspapers, painted with a bit of scandal and sensationalism. Instead the Samaritan, a pagan and sinner who was traveling ‘saw and did not pass by: he had compassion.’ And St. Luke describes it well, ‘He saw, he had compassion, he went to him and did not remain far away, but went close by.
“This is the mystery of Christ who became a servant, who humbled and annihilated himself and died for us. Jesus is the Good Samaritan who invited the doctor of the law to do the same. The mystery of Jesus Christ is not a children’s tale, the parable reveals the depth and breadth of the mystery of Jesus Christ. The doctor of the law did not understand the mystery of Christ but he surely understood the human principle behind it – that every man who looks from above at another man down below, does so only to help him get up. One who does this is on the right path to Jesus.”
“The innkeeper understood nothing of this, bewildered at meeting someone who did things he never heard before. This is what happens when one meets Jesus. The Holy Father urged Christians to re-read this parable and examine themselves on their attitude – a robber, a cheater, a corrupt man, a priest, a Catholic manager, or a sinner. Do I approach and make myself a neighbour and servant to those in need like Jesus?.”