Disrespect …

Tonight, like every other night, I did my service. I get there early, I do my job, then I sit and wait for folks to show up.

I don’t owe anyone the privilege of the explanation and the telling of the story of the collar I wear, and why I wear it. I reserve that right to only explain myself to those closest to me.

One of those women arrived early and she inquired, and I told her the truth, and she understood my truth, and respected my choice. This is my life and my statement of self.

A second lady showed up and sat with us, as we talked, and from her mouth came these words: “Jeremy, why are you wearing that piece of shit necklace? It looks like shit, you should take it off.”

Bitch …

It is obvious that since the day I put this collar on, people have been judging me left and right, and seem to know the truth, and they tell me what they think it means, however, no one has come close.

It seems, what I wear dictates how people treat me in public, in meetings, so to speak. They see something different, they make a judgment call, and they run with it.

I will not be disrespected. Period !!!

That’s the problem with straight people, and alcoholics are lumped in that grouping, because all of my friends, be they men or women, are straight. I haven’t seen many gay fellows I know, and for that matter, they want nothing to do with me, so that is a non issue.

Most of the men I hang with, have said nothing to the negative about my choices lately. They treat me with respect and dignity.

Other alcoholics, not so much.

If you cannot respect me then keep your fucking mouth shut. I don’t owe you an explanation, if you don’t really matter to my life. You can sit and wonder.

146 Days … And Counting

I have the boots, lots of boots. I have the collar, and I have my chastity.

I am complete.

We are now going to discuss a Taboo Subject, reader beware !

I’ve been locked for a total of 146 days, and counting.

For the longest time, I never understood what the rage was, about gay chastity. I had friends who took to it, right from the outset, when chastity began as a very simple kink. A few years ago.

I thought to myself, nobody is gonna take away my freedom to touch myself whenever I wanted to.

How naive I was.

I had a prophetic dream on the last night of March. And the next morning, April 1st, (of all days), I took it as a very serious warning, and I acted upon that dream. And my run with chastity began. I called my best friend, and we met for coffee, and I gave him my keys.

The run began.

Over the last 146 days, I have collected several chastity devices, to see how each of them worked. How they fit. And if they could be worn, long term.

Meanwhile my medical problems began to happen, in the middle of my trial period, and I had to take two weeks off to treat a very serious infection, that could have done real damage to my nether region.

Mischief Managed.

At the start of summer I bought two chastity devices, back to back. One for me and one for my best friend, who is straight. He took to it, and achieved 100 days in chastity, to break a bad habit. He came back earlier this week a changed man. He learned a lot about himself, and his abilities to do more than he ever thought he could do, meanwhile kicking a nasty habit.

On Monday night I ordered my final chastity device. The Rage Cage, which will become my final device, which will turn into permanent chastity, when it arrives.

Phase Three of my purge took place last night, as it is after 6 a.m. on Thursday morning. I took down all my external hard drives and shoved them into my file cabinet, so I don’t keep certain material on my desktop computer. All my storage is off site.

I’ve realized that at this point in my life, I really don’t care for labels any more. I’m terribly disillusioned with the gay community of men in my social circles, who want nothing to do with me. This is not about me, but more about them.

That’s not my problem.

I’m coming to the realization that the less I touch myself, and the longer I stay in my cage, the less I want to touch myself, in a sexual way. With hubby not been interested in sex in more than 12 years, I had to take matters into my own hands, for the duration.

Since my chastity run began, my life has changed.

I regressed into Todd:read:God.

As soon as I put on my collar, I knew what I needed to do, and how to do it, and who to listen to in my deepest heart of hearts. Todd taught me all that I needed, and in speaking to him recently, he reminded me of that, and also that he think of me often, and he spoke to me during our short conversation, in the language I understood.

I understand Todd.

I live my life by his rule, My Master’s rule. Fuck everyone else.

Chastity for me is a reminder of who I was, and who I am. It has brought me clarity and wisdom. Because everything I know about Being good, and Doing good, began with Todd. And that is where it will eventually end.

When the Rage Cage arrives, it will be soldered on permanently. I won’t have to worry about touching myself again. And I really do not miss it.

Since I am purging that side of my life, by my own hand, I know where I am going.

Being locked for so many months, has afforded me the ability to re-orient my life, my values, and my choices. I see wisdom in the act of submission and of chastity. It is not just a kink, or a fetish for me, it has become a way of life, that strengthens my resolve and gives me clarity.

I don’t have to worry about my “mister” or “self gratification” because lately I’ve realized that porn and jacking off has become boring.

The same shit – different night.

Microsoft helped in this area, by killing off my 2012 Movie Maker program, since they are not supporting it any longer, they wiped it from the entire internet, when they forced out their own Movie Maker 2019. THAT you have PAY for, to get rid of the huge watermark the trial product puts on your videos, if you don’t buy the $50.00 subscription.

Since I don’t have a movie maker, the decision to eradicate porn out of my life was easier, because I am no longer able to edit whatever I download. And with that shut down of a program, led to the shut down of porn sites I used to haunt. Bad habits sometimes die easily.

Phase Three is complete. I’ve eradicated bad habits. I’ve cleaned up my life in that area. So it’s all good.

USPS has said that mail will begin moving out of Florida today, due to hurricane Dorian, the mail had been stopped across the state, for obvious reasons. Today my package should begin moving North.

Phase Four will be the grand reveal.

Coming soon. But maybe not here.