I don’t know whether you, my readers, believe in God. That’s not for me to know, or concern myself with. What you believe is entirely up to you.
For me, God has been a constant in my life, from my earliest memories. And I followed him religiously for a few years, even ending up in Seminary to follow Him. All for naught !
He has been constant in my life, even when I chose to ignore him. Taking paths, I knew were wrong, making decisions that were also wrong, and almost dying in the process, to feed my own ego and selfishness.
He was there. Just waiting for me to turn my will over.
Tonight, we talked about Step Eleven.
SOUGHT THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION, TO IMPROVE OUR CONSCIOUS CONTACT WITH GOD AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, PRAYING ONLY FOR KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WILL FOR US AND THE POWER TO CARRY THAT OUT.
Over the last eighteen years, I’ve witnessed countless men and women battle the word God. People from religious backgrounds, Jews, Christians, Muslims, you name it. I’ve seen it, in the rooms.
The shares went around the room, and NOT ONE person, said the word Thank You or uttered the word Gratitude.
When it got to me, I said one sentence.
IF YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING, THERE IS A GOD …
When I got deathly sick, AND, I was going to surely die, God was the last thought on my mind. I was too consumed with dying, to think about anything else.
Todd, had other plans for me.
He gave me latitude to work it out. He gave me a framework to survive. He taught me lessons, mere mortals on this earth, have ever learned, or will ever learn.
I have mad skills in the area of coping and sobriety, taught directly from the Mind of God. Voiced by Todd.
I will tell you, I met God. I know His voice. He saved my life.
For many weeks and months as I waited for the day to come, that I was supposed to be dead, arrive, then more days came after that, AND I was still alive, Todd – Read God’s words rang true to me.
I turned my will and my life over to Todd, as I understood him, improving my conscious contact and learning what God’s will for me really was.
I did not die.
I am still alive.
What was all this for ?
Mortals don’t know gratitude if it snuck up behind them and bit them in the ass.
We are all going to die one day. Mortals don’t worry about dying, until they know for sure the end is nigh… Then they pray … But not before.
People are too busy to think about Please and Thank you.
I learned long ago to say Thank you.
Old timers, really GOOD old timers tell you that before you roll out of bed, the first words out of your mouth, IF you woke up that morning, are:
The second thing you do, AS you roll out of bed, is to hit your knees and pray. The third thing you do, after you pray, is to Make Your Bed.
Not one person said the word thank you, even the old timers sitting in the circle, did not say those words.
I don’t know why I am still alive. And what I am supposed to be doing here. But I pray. I talk to God. The one way conversation people talk about.
The Vertical Conversation.
Then I sit and I wait. And I listen. Meditation.
If the answer does not come directly from God, via intuition, I know I have to go out and seek the answer among my friends.
The Horizontal Conversation.
But my ears must be tuned to hear what ever it is God is going to say to me, and let me tell you, that took a lotta practice and a lotta time too.
If you ask the right question in prayer, and you need to seek the answer out, then you know, you must actively listen to your friends.
ACTIVELY LISTENING is the key.
This is my nightly meditation, to come here and reflect on my day, and write it all down, when necessary. Because I will forget by morning.
If you woke up this morning, There Is A God …
Thankfully, I am not God,
and my navel is not the center of the universe.
Thank God for small mercies.
And Lots of Gratitude.