Why Chastity – Part 2

If you asked me this question a year ago, I would have thought you mad. Are you serious, you wanna take my most precious practice away from me, No Way !!!

I had been talking to a friend over the years, well, two of them actually, in our leather men community, and both of them, are attached and they play around, and both of them, within a space of a few months, got the chastity bug.

Because chastity is all the rage in the Leather/BDSM/Master/Dom/Mistress community.

If you think the gays, have the market on Chastity, you would be WRONG! Because the straight community has a huge stake in Chastity. I’ve tested gear for straight sex shops over the past few months, and I know many Mistresses who use chastity with their bois. They have taken a fetish and really run with it, seriously. Fetish crosses the divide between the gay community and the straight fetish community.

Back when I worked at the bar, there were very few Mistresses who came out with us, but while I worked in a sex shop for a friend in Fort Lauderdale, I learned all I need to know about vibrators and sex toys from a Mistress names Miss Carla. She was a gem of a Mistress and a very kind soul to me when I really needed it. She taught me a lot about women and sex and all kinds of other good natured topics we used to chat about often.

I said this before, but if chastity had become a thing, in the nineties while I was working for Todd at the Leather Bar (The Stud), that would have taken off like wild fire. I mean there was simple idea and construct for chastity back then, but not like it is right now.

Todd is the only Master I will ever know, and a good thing too. I’ve seen too much abuse in as many years, and Todd was not that kind of man. I’m sure, if he had it, he would have employed it with me.

Chastity is a form of submission. And submission, in my opinion, is something I craved for a long time, and I needed, for a long time, and Todd was the Master I needed to submit to. I would give my life for him any day of the week.

I’ve studied this Fetish/Way of life for months now, and I’ve read all the blogs I can, and have researched this topic intimately. Men and their boys, Mistresses and their bois, Masters and their subs.

I would have never thought that chastity would become such a driving force in my life, but it has. In the beginning I gave up my keys to my best friend, until I hit that medical wall. Then he went away for the summer, and I was bouncing between the CB-6000 and my Bon-4. Then I added The Curve. Now I am back in my CB-6000 until later this week, when my Rage Cage arrives and I go full bore Permanent Chastity in that steel cage.

You know, taking porn out of the equation, and turning to chastity to force me to stop focusing on my dick is life changing. The main focus of chastity is to rewire your brain, to stop touching yourself, and give your desire to touch yourself over to your Dom/Mistress. Or give that control over to your key holder.

One small drawback for me, is that I am Diabetic and HIV+. So I have to keep a close eye on my body and the problem with the CB-6000 is that it is a closed cage, that one has to remove at least weekly to clean. And because my body is specific in what it can do, I have to be on top of it 24/7.

Which is why I chose the Rage Cage to go full bore, because it is an open cage and I won’t have the attendant problems as with my CB-6000.

In the beginning I couldn’t wrap my mind around 24/7. But the longer I wore my cage, the less often I touched myself. And the longer I wore my cage, the less I thought about touching myself.

Now, I have no desire to touch myself, because that physical pathway has been rewired. And once you remove the stimulus for masturbation, that is almost all of the fight. Remove the stimulus, and rewire that pathway, and your desire to touch yourself begins to disappear.

I don’t think about sex as often, because I know I am locked up. And you know what also? I have so much more free time to do other things, things I like to do for myself, in a good way. I don’t think about my cage, and for a long time I forget I am wearing it, because it has become a normal item of my wardrobe. Once I get the Rage Cage, it will all be over. Finally !!!

For us in the leather community, sex was a given, I mean that’s why we “coupled” with someone. And like I said, if cages existed back then, in that particular venue of men, it would have been all the rage. For Sure !

In order to curb ones sexual appetite, you take away that which feeds it; Your Dick. The more time you spend in chastity, the more you are apt to focus on the one Mistress/Master/Dom who holds your key and the fate of your dick in their hands.

It heightens your sexual desire, for when you are unlocked or when you next have sex, the longer you stay locked up, the better the next time you get to orgasm. In the beginning I did not remain locked all the time, because I had not gotten over masturbating just yet.

Once you take off the CB-6000 and you masturbate, the chances of getting back into it are slim, then I had to revert to the Bon-4 and then back to my CB-6000, what a nightmare. And at some point I just bit the bullet and deleted the stimulus from my life, and locked into my CB-6000 for the haul until my Rage Cage gets here in a few days.

So I’ve been locked, for a few months now, 24/7. With no breaks and no cheats. Since I’ve removed the porn and the hard drives and the web sites, like I said, I am MUCH MORE focused on my life and other things I was not doing, now that I have A LOT more free time to myself.

I cannot believe all the time I was wasting editing, and filing and fooling around with myself, it is just incredible.

If you’ve got a problem, and you want a solution, we here are all about solutions, be they addictive or sexual. If you are in a Dom/Mistress relationship, let’s chat. If you are in a chastity relationship, tell me about it.

If Todd were here, I’m sure he would approve. Because in my heart of hearts He is with me all the time, every day, every minute I am still breathing.

If I can change One Life, as Todd told me to do so, then, I have done my job as His Boy …

I will always be His boy …

Why Chastity ? Men …

Come on men, let’s get honest for a spell.

How many men out there, Jerk Off, Choke the Chicken, Slap the Monkey, or just simply, Masturbate?

Is a daily event, a multiple daily event, a really heavy daily event?

How many men out there, look at Porn ? I’m talking to YOU Straight Men, not only the Gay Men who might read this blog. Is Porn just the action taken when you choke your chicken, or is Porn a little more ingrained in your daily activities?

How many men out there, have film editing software on your computer, and do you use that editing software to edit, said Porn, you consume? And if you edit said Porn, how much Porn do you have on your hard drive, or do you have extra external hard drives connected to your desktop to house said Porn?

For you straight men, those who are married, or even for those single guys out there, is Porn part of your sex life with your wives, or significant others?

If you are like my parents were, what they did inside the house and even outside the house, was radically different from what they did behind their bedroom door. Were talking BDSM … My father had a book that I found on a bookshelf in our house at one point titled “Hurt Me Please.”

If sex is an issue, does it include Porn, or Not ? If sex is not an issue, as in, you don’t have sex, or your sex life is not what you wanted or expected, or your partner/significant other suffers from a mental condition that has just wiped sex from your proverbial plate, do you masturbate to make up for the fact that you don’t have sex

a) as often
b) not as often
c) it’s non-existent?

The problem with my own sex life is this: My husband is Bi-Polar. And this began over 14 years ago, after he suffered a break down and ended up comatose on the sofa for eleven months. The doctors gave him so much medication over the primary dosing period, all that toxic medication wiped part of his brain away, and we never saw it again.

What does one do when you remove passion, human touch, and sex from the equation? For most men, that would constitute divorce proceedings. Even for our women who read here, Porn is just as equal a “thing” as it is for the men. You don’t get a pass in this conversation.

We might have had sex, a handful of times, in the very beginning, but now, sex is the GIANT White Elephant in our living room.

My husband likes to Masturbate when I am not home. That’s the God’s honest truth. I’ve walked in on him coming home from work or a meeting a few times. He like to roll joints on my desk as well, not anymore though. We just don’t talk about it, nor do I want to talk about it. Mental illness does a serious harm to sex lives.

We don’t talk about sex, at all. I have my sex life and he has his. And as long as it does not infect any other portion of our marriage, that’s all and well for me.

I turned to masturbation because sex is non-existent. But after so many years, masturbation got boring and only repetitive, and I needed to just fucking STOP ALREADY. So I did.

The fact that we don’t have sex, just reinforces my desire to go it alone, and do my own thing. Which I have done for the whole of our marriage. Even in sobriety.

People who suffer addictions, it usually just isn’t One Thing. I have heard Bob tell me that when he went into rehab, his intake counselor told him that “If you have a problem with One Thing, you probably should not do Anything.”

Sober men, talk about sex A LOT. They talk in secret, though NOT in a meeting setting. Sex is an undercurrent that electrifies the men in my community. Newbies want to have sex, and we tell them, no relationships in your first year. What do I tell them instead?

If you have to get off, then choke the chicken.

That advice is a double edged sword, because if you have an addict in your midst, it might not be just drugs and alcohol, it might well also be Pornography.

With the dawn of fast internet and the various choices of porn online, I don’t know a single man, who I know, who does not employ porn, in their spare time. They just don’t tell me how often they choke the chicken.

But if you ask any man if they masturbate and they answer NO –

YOU KNOW THEY ARE LYING !!!!

So advising on sex issues is not something I do a lot. I listen more than I talk. Only my best friend and I speak of, and practice Chastity. It’s not something you tell your friends in a meeting. Oh I have a chastity device, do you wanna try it on for size? Um, NO !!!

One of my guys and I talk about everything, i talk about everything with all of my guys, but more specifically, one of my young guys, I’ve been working with for a couple of years.

At the end of Spring, pornography became a topic of conversation, and so we did not talk about it much but after a little while, we both realized that Porn was more of a problem, and I took that thought to bed with me for a few weeks, until I had that prophetic dream at the end of March, and that dream gave me a solution.

For the life of me when Chastity rose out of nowhere, and some of my friends had chastity cages and were playing around with it, I was like
“HELL NO Nobody’s going to take my dick away from me … “

I put chastity, in the I’ve seen it in action, but not for me, file.

Fast Forward to April 1st, this Spring. All that changed.

The chastity run began for me, it came a month later for my best friend.

We nipped his problem in the bud, and my life has changed in ways I never imagined. I’ve eradicated my Porn habit. I’ve removed all my Porn from my computer, and I’ve been in chastity since April the 1st 2019.

Chastity is a simple device. Some of them can be very pricey, but if you know what you are looking for, and you do some homework for yourself, once again, you need to know where to look, I can help you there.

I’ve spent a fair chunk of money on several devices, for myself and one for my friend, which he paid for at the end of his run, because the CB-6000 runs $200.00 CAD. And the BON-4 runs $180.00. My Rage Cage ran me $115.00.

If you want focus, If you want some down time from touching your dick, if you want to stop masturbating, or masturbating so much, or you just need a break from a possible addiction to internet porn, then chastity might be for you.

Ask Me … Don’t be shy, we are all men and women here.

The first step in solving a problem is to recognize that there IS a problem.

146 Days … And Counting

I have the boots, lots of boots. I have the collar, and I have my chastity.

I am complete.

We are now going to discuss a Taboo Subject, reader beware !

I’ve been locked for a total of 146 days, and counting.

For the longest time, I never understood what the rage was, about gay chastity. I had friends who took to it, right from the outset, when chastity began as a very simple kink. A few years ago.

I thought to myself, nobody is gonna take away my freedom to touch myself whenever I wanted to.

How naive I was.

I had a prophetic dream on the last night of March. And the next morning, April 1st, (of all days), I took it as a very serious warning, and I acted upon that dream. And my run with chastity began. I called my best friend, and we met for coffee, and I gave him my keys.

The run began.

Over the last 146 days, I have collected several chastity devices, to see how each of them worked. How they fit. And if they could be worn, long term.

Meanwhile my medical problems began to happen, in the middle of my trial period, and I had to take two weeks off to treat a very serious infection, that could have done real damage to my nether region.

Mischief Managed.

At the start of summer I bought two chastity devices, back to back. One for me and one for my best friend, who is straight. He took to it, and achieved 100 days in chastity, to break a bad habit. He came back earlier this week a changed man. He learned a lot about himself, and his abilities to do more than he ever thought he could do, meanwhile kicking a nasty habit.

On Monday night I ordered my final chastity device. The Rage Cage, which will become my final device, which will turn into permanent chastity, when it arrives.

Phase Three of my purge took place last night, as it is after 6 a.m. on Thursday morning. I took down all my external hard drives and shoved them into my file cabinet, so I don’t keep certain material on my desktop computer. All my storage is off site.

I’ve realized that at this point in my life, I really don’t care for labels any more. I’m terribly disillusioned with the gay community of men in my social circles, who want nothing to do with me. This is not about me, but more about them.

That’s not my problem.

I’m coming to the realization that the less I touch myself, and the longer I stay in my cage, the less I want to touch myself, in a sexual way. With hubby not been interested in sex in more than 12 years, I had to take matters into my own hands, for the duration.

Since my chastity run began, my life has changed.

I regressed into Todd:read:God.

As soon as I put on my collar, I knew what I needed to do, and how to do it, and who to listen to in my deepest heart of hearts. Todd taught me all that I needed, and in speaking to him recently, he reminded me of that, and also that he think of me often, and he spoke to me during our short conversation, in the language I understood.

I understand Todd.

I live my life by his rule, My Master’s rule. Fuck everyone else.

Chastity for me is a reminder of who I was, and who I am. It has brought me clarity and wisdom. Because everything I know about Being good, and Doing good, began with Todd. And that is where it will eventually end.

When the Rage Cage arrives, it will be soldered on permanently. I won’t have to worry about touching myself again. And I really do not miss it.

Since I am purging that side of my life, by my own hand, I know where I am going.

Being locked for so many months, has afforded me the ability to re-orient my life, my values, and my choices. I see wisdom in the act of submission and of chastity. It is not just a kink, or a fetish for me, it has become a way of life, that strengthens my resolve and gives me clarity.

I don’t have to worry about my “mister” or “self gratification” because lately I’ve realized that porn and jacking off has become boring.

The same shit – different night.

Microsoft helped in this area, by killing off my 2012 Movie Maker program, since they are not supporting it any longer, they wiped it from the entire internet, when they forced out their own Movie Maker 2019. THAT you have PAY for, to get rid of the huge watermark the trial product puts on your videos, if you don’t buy the $50.00 subscription.

Since I don’t have a movie maker, the decision to eradicate porn out of my life was easier, because I am no longer able to edit whatever I download. And with that shut down of a program, led to the shut down of porn sites I used to haunt. Bad habits sometimes die easily.

Phase Three is complete. I’ve eradicated bad habits. I’ve cleaned up my life in that area. So it’s all good.

USPS has said that mail will begin moving out of Florida today, due to hurricane Dorian, the mail had been stopped across the state, for obvious reasons. Today my package should begin moving North.

Phase Four will be the grand reveal.

Coming soon. But maybe not here.

Key Holder

After yesterday’s technicolor dream and the prophetic nature of the message, I followed through to the end this morning.

I had researched my quest last night, and decided to go with my local seller, Priape and save some serious cash, on the exchange and shipping from the U.S.

The man who works in the fetish shop in the basement was there when I arrived. I’ve known him for over 18 years. We’ve been friends since the day he started working at Priape, and we’ve become good friends. So he knows all about me and my fetish likes and dislikes. Because he’s the one who sold me on every purchase I’ve ever made in the shop.

That is a good contact to have.

I learned a long time ago, when I moved to Montreal, that in Montreal, sex is a common subject. It is not taboo, and the fact that I said yesterday that there are sex shops scattered all over the city, speaks for itself.

In the Gay Village, Priape is our flagship store. We’ve kept that store open in the darkest of times, when at one point the shop had been sold, and they were going to just shut it down for good. We, the community, had other plans. We got the store re-opened and it rocks the community.

When I worked for Todd back in the 90’s, the bar was a hard core fetish bar, serving the leather community. Right up my alley. But Todd knew I had a dark side, and he kept men and myself apart, on purpose. Because he knew I could get into serious trouble if left to my own devices, which is why Todd took me in and forbade me to engage, and forbade the men in the bar to ever touch me, Period ! Those rules saved my life.

Because I can tell you honestly, that some of the hard core leather men who were sick (then) took down many of my younger friends in my age group. They got them addicted to drugs and alcohol, then infected them with AIDS, and all of them died in the end. I was the only young leather man left standing alive, when all was said and done.

Hundreds of people died. And I survived them all.

Moving to Montreal, I attempted to break into the community, that took a lot of work, but in the end, I failed because of the two solitude’s. If you did not speak French in a mostly French neighborhood, you were finished.

But I made some good connections in the process. The men at Priape became friends, who did not judge me because I did not speak French.

The Male Chastity fetish was born a couple of years ago. I watched it rise on Tumblr and within the limited Leather Community I was following online. After the dawning of this little denial of sex began to rise, the straight community took hold of it and ran with it.

The race to build the Best Mouse Trap began.

There are many companies that claim to have the best product. And since that dawn, I have watched the evolution of it grow exponentially. I know my personal sellers. Some ran well with it, where others, only dabble here and there.

Friends of mine, here in Montreal, engaged in this kink. I knew this because they told me so. I was kind of jealous that my friends had better sex lives than I had.

Truth … 17 years ago, when my husband was diagnosed as Bi-Polar II Rapid Cycling and the drugs were introduced to his body, over the ten months they dosed him with the myriad of drugs they were trying to see if they worked, at the end of the line, the man who went in, was NOT the man I got when he came out the other side. Our sex life all but died. We’ve not had sex, but maybe twice in the last 17 years. So fuck me now.

Let’s just say, that if I want to jerk off, I can. And there is nobody who is going to see or stop me.

Over the last little while, I’ve been in conversation with my friend, who shall remain nameless. He knows my situation, because he has his own.

I went to the shop and got my device. My friend showed me how it worked, and how it went on. I came home and wow, what a nightmare getting it on, but once it was on, it wasn’t coming off.

It isn’t a denial in full, until you give your keys away to someone who will hold them for you, for whatever period of time, until you want them back.

I had to get rid of my keys today.

I made the call to my friend, and we met for coffee and had quite the conversation. Because I told him, he was part of the dream last night. We talked honestly and openly.

I handed him my keys and told him that I did not want them back until the end of the summer when he comes back into Montreal for school. Now I am fucked until at least September. There is no going back now, I did not keep a back up key here, because that would be a temptation to cheat and unlock the device early.

He is going home to Alberta after this term, so he won’t even be here, to give me the keys back, even if I wanted them. He will have them on him. So I am doubly fucked.

But he agrees that knowing he’s holding those keys, will seriously remind him that he is also in the same boat as I am. Because he has the same issue that I do. So he knows he can join this challenge if he wants to. But just holding the keys, right now, is enough a deterrent to interrupt the cycle.

Lockup began at 11 am this morning. And will run, until at least September.

I don’t have the keys. And the device is locked.