Solutions – Blow Up – Part 2

Last week, before the Thursday meeting, I was talking to one of my best Lady friends before the meeting. And I told her about my woes about watching kids stuck in the revolving door, that it is becoming too much to sit in certain meetings, listening to miserable people, when they know that the solution, or the path to the solution is sitting probably a few chairs away from them, yet they won’t ask for help, for certain reasons.

She said this … She is 70 years old and sober as long as myself. She said that she only goes to meetings where she is being fed good food, so to speak. She does not go to meetings where it is gloom and doom and misery.

She also said that ladies in our age bracket, life wise, and sober wise, do not waste their time trying to help those, who don’t want the help we offer, nor ask for it in any case, or don’t want the solution and that they constantly want to live in the problem, once again, knowing the solution, or the path TO the solution is not far from where they are sitting.

Most old timers from “our grouping” who have Booked, Done Steps, Got sober and are happy sober, there are a specific group of men and women in this grouping, they won’t touch newcomers with a ten foot pole, because, we all know right now, it is useless, because none of them are really serious about the solution. They’d rather spin inside the revolving door, rather than settle down and do the work necessary to get and stay sober, so why waste our time?

We have better things to do, for those who really need it and want it too. There are a handful of people we know who work for their bread and butter, and we know who just won’t work at all and are starving because of their penchant for the drink.

Last week I spoke to my best friend, and I wrote what he said to me then, that I should stop overextending myself. That if people don’t want what I have, then let them be, and stop going to meetings where all people want to do is spin their wheels.

I cannot save everyone, and that’s not my responsibility either. He knows what I do for the chosen few I work with, and we do well together, because my guys work for their bread and butter. 100% !

I broke my fast last night, because I can only sit in the same room with my husband before I want to strangle him ! Sometimes he drives me crazy, because he never leaves the house unless he goes to the gym in the mid mornings, then he works from home all damn day long, sitting not ten feet from my desk all day long! UGH!!

I’m ruminating and it 4:44 in the morning right now and I am wide awake because I could not sleep, so I got up to write some more ramblings of an alcoholic, yet sober, mind.

Am I crazy ?

I know, over the last two years, those men and women who have contributed, solidly to my sobriety. And I know who didn’t, and who doesn’t right now. I sit in certain meetings week after week, with the same old timers, who do not contribute one word to me in positive reinforcement or saying anything of advice to me on anything I say in a meeting. They just let me shoot off my mouth when a stream of consciousness hits me, and I go off like a rocket, like I did last night.

Right now all everyone has to say to me is stupid smart ass comments about my looks, my jewelry, or my outfits. And last night I swore at two men who shot their mouths off at me, and told them to keep their smart ass comments to themselves. Weren’t they shocked that I spoke like that to friends !

I’m wasting my time sitting in meetings that aren’t feeding me …

Waste Of Time…

Thursday: What Am I Doing Here ?

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They say that service will keep you sober. The first thing we learn how to do when we come in the rooms, is how to set up chairs and tables. (And lights on Friday night).

The second thing they give you is a coffee urn and they say, “Make the coffee.”

Why do we have to make coffee ??? Well, the coffee job, is the most important job you will ever have in a meeting. Setter Uppers are there first. The room is void of furniture and life, and it is your job, to bring life to a particular room and space.

Coffee is the most THANKLESS JOB you will ever have. And I’ve seen some men in my time, cop major resentments and go back out and drink, because they believe that they are owed more than they need.

Really !!

Making coffee brings you into direct contact with every human being who walks through that door. Because the first thing they ask you is … “Is the coffee ready ???”

Some people appreciate a good cup of coffee, then there are those who’s only job in life is to complain about the urn of coffee you spent fifteen minutes setting up for them, and half an hour waiting for it to perk …

You Miserable Bastards …

I’ve been making coffee for more than fifteen years. And tonight’s speaker, a very good friend of the Thursday meeting spoke. At twenty six years sober, he does service at the Five O’ Clock Shadows meeting here in town.

Often, that little voice in his head speaks to him in the quiet of an empty room,

“What are you doing here ?”

We usually ignore that question. Because we all know why we are in a particular room, and why we are making coffee.

You never know what conversation will open up, over a good cup of Joe …

That is why we stress Twenty minutes before and Twenty minutes after.

It usually goes, if you make the coffee – you will probably end up cleaning that urn after your meeting. The Prime time to score a newbie is before or after a particular meeting.

Newbies don’t get why we ask them to get IN THE GAME from the very start.

If they have a job, they will be accountable and show up. (for the most part).

Making coffee is a very personal job for many. Because we are providing a specific service to our men and women. They get an earthen ware mug, and not just a Styrofoam cup, in many meetings. We actually provide earthen ware mugs.

We get to meet everyone who comes in a room on any given night. And we get to make someones day or night, just by our presence.

And Presence is the greatest gift we can give each other.

I heard a quote my friend spoke to me a while back.

When he was new, there was a meeting in lower downtown, on the railroad tracks that run through the city core. That meeting was populated strictly by Big Burly Bikers.

My friend walked into that meeting and began his journey with us, a LONG time ago.

Yes, he made coffee then too.

He didn’t know jack about God. Or prayer. And he said this to one of the burly biker guys.

It went like this … “I’m not quite sure about God, and I don’t know how to pray. Or who to pray to. And our Biker Guy replied … Well if you can’t pray to God, then Pray to the Wall in your house.”

And that is exactly what he did that night after the meeting.

My friend is still sober. He still makes coffee. The difference today ?

He knows who God is …

Twenty six years later, my friend is a LONG sober member.

And we keep it simple.

Chairs, Tables, Coffee, Conversation.

Tomorrow is Friday. The Best Night of the Week.

Memories from a Time Gone By picks up on Saturday, with Day Five …