The Book does say that: “The Alcoholic will drink again.”
There is a very solid reason why they tell us, that the girls work with the girls and the guys work with the guys, (caveat) “unless you are Gay.”
Tonight we read Step One – out of the Twelve and Twelve. Because the chair needed to hear, “Going back to basics.”
We all know that Step One is the Step, one has to get right, the first time, and every day hence… Every day we wake up and do a Step One, just to get out of bed, on the right side of said bed. I mean really, if you don’t say the words Thank You, when you wake up, every morning, you are doing something wrong.
Those of us with some time, work tirelessly every day, in meetings, and on the outside, helping others. Shit, I devote my entire waking time, week in and week out, taking care of others, in a multitude of ways, week in and week out.
The men stay away from the women, and the boys stay away from the girls, for obvious reasons. Some of our girls won’t even deign to say hello to me when they walk in the doors to a meeting, like I am some monster out to get them and do serious harm to them.
Fuck me for trying.
There is a particular gaggle of girls who travel in a pack. Most of them are first timers, but several of them are back around again. I speak to some of them, who will listen when I speak, then there are those who care not for anything I have to say to them, even if it means their lives in the balance, and alas, they drink again.
A couple years ago, when the first round took place, they all came in, just prior to the holidays, so keeping them ALL SOBER, was my first order of business. I opened meetings on Christmas and New Years. I set out chairs and I was present.
And from my mouth to God’s ears I said to them, “If you make it through Christmas, I guranteed them, that they would stay sober.” They all made their first Christmas sober, all stayed sober, into the next year, Last Christmas came and again, I was present, and I was out there, with them, and they all made a second Christmas, sober.
One by One, each in their own ways, decided to drink again. Tonight, the one remaining girl in the gaggle, spoke, AFTER I had shared, on my Step One. And much to my surprise, after two years working indirectly to keep her sober, night after night, meeting after meeting, talking to her her from the sidelines, because the girls won’t listen to the men at all …
She Drank Again. With two years and a bit under her belt.
I was shocked. But not surprised. Because over the last few months, one of the long sober woman leading this rag tag bunch of girls, drank again. Watching your sponsor drink again, is a solid shock to the sternum. And it usually strikes the fear of God into them.
When that long sober woman drank again, I was present, I knew about it because I was told about it, and I tried to mitigate the fallout. Alas, in the long run, I failed at my mission to help them all stay sober.
I am disappointed that the girls won’t cross the divide and call us when they have nowhere else to turn. When the women fail in working with women, then what do they do? Drink again, like they have no other option?
I really don’t know what to do but wish them well, and see them into this next round of sobriety from the sidelines, because we must stay on our side of the proverbial street.
People know what to do if they want to drink. They know where to go and if push comes to shove, they have options. They can ONE, go back out and drink, or TWO, they can speak to one of us, and we will be glad to help when necessary.
Sadly, the girls stay away from the men and the boys, for those obvious reasons.
Hence … The Alcoholic Will Drink Again.