Tonight we read the Seminal Most Important reading in the book, Page 417 …
Acceptance IS the KEY to ALL of my problems.
Nothing happens in God’s World by Mistake, Nothing …
When the chair announced the reading several of us GROANED with emotion. And my friend sitting next to me said to me … “AH Jesus, this reading AGAIN?”
I know that if I have a problem with anyone around me, the real problem lies within me. And I have to stop and look in the mirror and see where I am at fault. I’m really not a control freak, because I know how that goes. But I do have some truth.
I was once told that
“Just because you have time, does not necessarily mean you are sober.”
It took me over twelve years to figure out what that meant. I have endeavored to have done the necessary homework to be able to speak clearly, with conviction, and truth. Because sometimes we have to tell the uncomfortable truth, even if it hurts.
I went to the meeting tonight, to find one of my kids. Whom I fear, has used up his nine lives and I fear, the next time he might decide to go down his rabbit hole, that he won’t make it out alive. And I so badly want to try and help him.
But my friend Josh said to me after the meeting, that I need to let him come to me, if even that might happen, because our kids won’t ask for help, and we must allow them their free will to chose what they wish to do. But it was a good thing he took several newcomer chips in the last week, so he knows to come back.
I cannot save my kids unless they want help. I cannot force sobriety on them, because the greatest sin is this:
“To get in the way of anothers spiritual journey.”
All I can do is hope. I asked another friend who had seen my young man the other night, to text him my phone number. now it is up to him to use that number, and soon.
Let Us Pray …
Last night I had a coffee date with my best friend. Wearing my really cool, “Team Locked” sweatshirt. He had a good laugh at me. He could not believe that I would wear it out in public. Not that many people have any idea what chastity is, and why we would engage in this practice.
Suffice to say, he will be participating with me in Locktober.30 days to refocus our brains away from ourselves, and onto much better things to do, like helping others.
This morning I went grocery shopping and stopped in at The Tire to see if I could find a better lock for my rage cage. I could not stand the pin and small lock that was provided. And the pin hole on the wings of the base ring is wide enough to accept a much larger lock that would fill the pin hole and not give the cage the ability to come apart.
I did find that lock, it is much larger than the original lock. Now I have the cage I want, that is the best choice I had made yet. I have the proper lock I want to secure said cage.
Over the past month I have been talking to my guys in my Chastity community, and they have given me sound advice. Full time chastity is a nice thought, but not viable in the long run. Because once you hit a certain age, (read: Your fifties) one must be careful to avoid Prostate Cancer. Because once you hit fifty, doctors will begin testing you for prostate cancer. The older you get, the better the chance you will develop a problem.
Making sure you “Cleanse the Pipes” every so often, will lessen that chance of a build up of fluid that can react with your biology and problems arise.
Too many of the gay men I know, in the rooms, have all had cancer. And I watched them navigate their choices. One of those men died last year. And there are just a few of them left, alive. Many of our older men have had Cancer.
I don’t need Cancer. I have enough problems of my own.
I am powerless over people, places, and things.
There is a God, and I am not God.
I cannot save every kid I would like, even if I wanted to.
Acceptance is the key to All of my problems.